Tandelou

A race of giant, radial plants, the Tandelou are a starfaring race that inhabits the Delta Sector. Though like most of the other races of the Sector they are not native to the region, they have dwelled there for several thousand years at a minimum, and have been in space for at least several centuries. The Tandelou are an extremely spiritual race, subscribing to a religion called the Thdok-Bryg-Ahhh, a fact they go at great lengths to share with others. Over the course of history, however, the Tandelou have come to be at loggerheads regarding the proper performance of certain Thdok-Bryg-Ahhh ceremonies (7 of 800,543 to be exact), and for this reason they have split into two sects, the Eshvara and the Eshvey. The two sects inhabit different solar systems and have historically endured stormy diplomatic relations, ranging from grudging tolerance to total war. Though currently at peace, the endless proselytizing combined with the potential for violence lead most races to avoid them, unless necessity demands it. Such necessity usually comes in the form of trade, as the Tandelou sects are both avid traders and will buy and sell several desirable trade goods. The most notable purchased item is the Godmask, a ubiquitous accoutrement worn by every individual Tandelou.

Basic Characteristics[]

Type: Plant
Durability: 8
Learning Rate: 3
Science: Poor
Navigation: Good
Tactical: Good
Engineering: Average
Communication: Poor
Medicine: Good
Genders: 1
Life Stages: Adolescent at 17 years. Adult at 49 years. Middle age at 81 yrs. Old Age at 129 years. Venerable Age at 161 years.
Lifespan: 164 + 8d10 years.
Height: 3 meters; 2.25 + (1d5 x 0.15 m) 3
Mass: 350 kg; 262.5 + ((2d5 from height) x 17.5 kg)

Niche/Symmetry: Omnivorous Radial Consumer
Speed/Transit: Multiped, 21 m/rd (13 kph)
Volume: 0.35 m^3
HD: 45/51/44
HP: 80
Unarmed Damage: 8 NHP, 2 HP
STV: 280 MU (800 MU/m^3)

Physical Description[]

As mentioned by the trade buoys, the Tandelou are a race of “radial, tentacled lifeforms”; this is a slight mistranslation on the part of the Humna Humna programmer, who did not believe “vined” was a legitimate word and simply selected what he believed to be the next most appropriate adjective. In any event, the Tandelou are a plant-like race, though they may have a limited relation to the insectoid families too, as evidenced by the fact that they describe one of their development phases as a “tertiary larval stage” (a stage they describe as looking strikingly similar to the Spemin). Tandelou are very large, standing on average 3 meters tall, and are very heavy (350 kg), as their bodies are made of a woody material. Tandelou move about by means of a system of root-like appendages which encircle the base of their bodies, a method of locomotion among the slowest of all the Delta Sector species. The Tandelou have four vines that they use for grasping and manipulating objects, and for the many ceremonies of the Thdok-Bryg-Ahhh. These vines sprout from the four cardinal points around their torso just below their heads; however, when the species bends its neck to look in one direction or another, it gives the appearance of having two vines above and two below the head. As might be expected with a radial species, the Tandelou have no defined ‘front’; they can change their perceived directional facing simply by swiveling their necks, rather than turning their entire bodies. The Tandelou see by means of three forward-looking eyes, positioned in an inverted V pattern, and providing roughly-human equivalent vision. Significantly, these eyes are the only facial features known to outsiders, as the Tandelou obscure the remainder of their faces with Godmasks when dealing with other races. It is unknown what, if any, additional sensory organs might be hidden beneath them. The species are omnivorous producers, and both sects buy at least one animal species in trade for food purposes. Their method of ingestion is similar to that of the Elowan, in that they intake slowly through pores in their vines- all of which occurs under the auspices of the Thdok-Bryg-Ahhh. The Tandelou, like the Elowan, reproduce by asexual reproduction, and each individual is hermaphroditic, possessing both stamen and pistils. As might be expected with this race, reproductive activities take place under the guise of the ceremonies of the Thdok-Bryg-Ahhh. In addition, the reproductive organs seem to have roles to play in many ceremonies having nothing to do with reproduction; one Tandelou captain ashamedly took credit for the misguided state of all the Arthian races, due to his not fully completing a counter-rotation with his stamen during a divination ceremony. Unlike the Elowan, the Tandelou have no vocalization abilities whatsoever, and their language is totally based on movement. They can hear, however, and because of this ability they have incorporated the sounds some motions produce into their language, such as rattles, clicks, and pops.

Space Units[]

Tandelou Frigate[]

**Tandelou Scout (Frigate)**
Make: Very Light Frigate				Size Class: 14 (.25x Intrepid)
SI: 1,200	Cost: 695,610 MU	HD/BHD/FHD: 64/63/60		Thrust: 4,000 hTG{BR} (Class Four Engines)	Fuel: Shyneum (3.0)
SHP: 500{BR} (Class One Shields)	AHP: 0{BR} (No Armor)	Beam: 510{BR} (Class Four Lasers)	Proj: 700{BR} (Class Three Missiles)	X: None	Crew/Passengers: 60/60{BR}(120 0.25 m^3 Single Berths)
Mass: 117 hT		Acceleration (Thrust): 34.19 G		Turning Rate: 102.56 dps
Elements: Nickel (4.0), Molybdenum (2.0), Platinum (1.0)				Cargo Capacity: 12.5 m^3{BR}(12.5 m^3 base)
Accessories/Pods: Emergency Stasis Unit, Hospital Module, SWACS Module, WMD Delivery System (Chemical), Non-Lethal Weapons Delivery System, Starship Systems Adapter, External Docking Port, Eighth Hangar Bay Module, Beam Weapon Rack x2, Projectile Weapon Rack x2, Permanent Pod Mount.
Flaws/Bonuses: None.
NOTES: Hangar Capacity 88m^3.

Tandelou Transport[]

**Tandelou Transport**
Make: Medium Frigate				Size Class: 16 (.9x Intrepid)
SI: 710	Cost: 686,880 MU	HD/BHD/FHD: 49/50/45		Thrust: 4,000 hTG{BR} (Class Four Engines)	Fuel: Shyneum (5.0)
SHP: 500{BR} (Class One Shields)	AHP: 0{BR} (No Armor)	Beam: 210{BR} (Class Two Lasers)	Proj: 0{BR} (No Missiles)	X: None	Crew/Passengers: 192/192{BR}(384 6.25 m^3 Large Berths)
Mass: 1,297 hT		Acceleration (Thrust): 3.08 G		Turning Rate: 9.25 dps
Elements: Nickel (9.0), Molybdenum (6.0), Platinum (3.0)				Cargo Capacity: 5,976 m^3{BR}(50 m^3 base, 5,926 m^3 acc/pods)
Accessories/Pods: Emergency Stasis Unit, Hospital Module, Non-Lethal Weapons Delivery System, Shelter Module, Bulk Cargo Module x2, Beam Weapon Rack x2, Permanent Pod Mount x8, Cargo Pod x6.
Flaws/Bonuses: None.
NOTES: Hangar Capacity 176 m^3.

Tandelou Cruiser[]

**Tandelou Warship (Cruiser)**
Make: Super Light Destroyer				Size Class: 15 (.6x Intrepid)
SI: 2,200	Cost: 1,153,840 MU	HD/BHD/FHD: 59/59/55		Thrust: 4,000 hTG{BR} (Class Four Engines)	Fuel: Shyneum (4.0)
SHP: 1,000{BR} (Class Two Shields)	AHP: 500{BR} (Class One Armor)	Beam: 510{BR} (Class Four Lasers)	Proj: 700{BR} (Class Three Missiles)	X: None	Crew/Passengers: 240/0{BR}(240 6.25 m^3 Large Berths)
Mass: 168 hT		Acceleration (Thrust): 23.81 G		Turning Rate: 71.43 dps
Elements: Nickel (8.0), Molybdenum (4.0), Platinum (2.0)				Cargo Capacity: 175 m^3{BR}(25 m^3 base, 150 m^3 acc/pods)
Accessories/Pods: Emergency Stasis Unit, Hospital Module, ECM Module, WMD Delivery System x3 (Chemical), Non-Lethal Weapons Delivery System, External Docking Port x2, Eighth Hangar Bay Module, Beam Weapon Rack x4, Projectile Weapon Rack x4, Permanent Pod Mount x4, Cargo Pod x3.
Flaws/Bonuses: None.
NOTES: Hangar Capacity 176 m^3.

Ground Units[]

This gives a general listing of the vehicles available to the given race. Engaging the ground units of a species in combat will have the same general effect on the player's relations with the species as engaging their units in space. The mineral composition of ground units will be the same as that listed for space units, though the amounts will be somewhat lessened. Indication of "turrets" for a ground unit allow the unit to fire a weapon in any direction; otherwise, the unit must face their target before they may attack another unit. Ground units always include a very generic description of how the unit will appear. Ground Units in general use the same ratings as space units, but have a few additional properties as outlined below:

Still need a response on energy.
- Melee: An attack that can only be delivered when that object's collision area is touching the collision area of its target.
- Flat: The speed/efficiency the unit travels on flat land.
- Mount: The speed/efficiency the unit travels on steep mountains. This will likely be determined by rapid changes in planetary elevation, though the exact amount of elevation change necessary has not yet been determined.
- Liquid The speed/efficiency the unit travels on a liquid surface (possibly also including ice and cooling lava.)

No Data Available at this time.

Territory[]

While isolated Tandelouvian ships can be found all over the Delta Sector, they are most numerous in the Downspin, Outward quarter of the map. Each sect controls one system; the Eshvey base out of the G-type system at δ29x74 (p1), while the Eshvara maintain their civilization at the yellow sun of δ35x69 (p2). While the Tandelou as a species does possess a decently sized navy, their internal strife keeps them concentrated disproportionately around their two home systems; any sizable expedition by either sect would weaken them significantly in respect to their rivals. Because of this, their ships are not found in significant numbers anywhere except in the constellation that contains those two systems as well as the Ptera system.

Patrol:
- Alpha Sector: None
- Delta Sector: Prominent
- Beta Sector: None
Space:
- Alpha Sector: No Sphere of Influence
- Delta Sector: centered around 41.18x71.86, 37.43 parsecs radius (Eshvara); centered around 43.19x77.62, 27.71 parsecs radius (Eshvey)
- Beta Sector: No Sphere of Influence
Star:
- Alpha Sector: None
- Delta Sector: 2x76 (Eshvey), 20x41 (Eshvara), 28x79 (Eshvara, Eshvey), 29x74 (Eshvey), 32x91(Eshvey), 34x71 (Eshvara, Eshvey), 34x74 (Eshvey), 35x69 (Eshvara), 105x75 (Eshvara)
- Beta Sector: None
Worlds:
- Alpha Sector: None
- Delta Sector: Eshvey (29x74, p1); Eshvara (35x69, p2)
- Beta Sector: None

Status[]

The Tandelou are relatively non-aggressive to most other races, excepting of course the hated opposite sect of their own species. However, if another species disrespects them or expresses disinterest or antagonism towards their religion, they can become threatening and hostile, and the situation can quickly escalate from there. Because of this, and also because most species find their proselytizing irritating, they are generally avoided, and more than one race uses the word ‘stupid’ to describe them. Trade, however, will drive certain species to seek them out. The Tandelou have had ‘special’ relationships with various species over the course of history, most recently with the Spemin. They adopted the Spemin in the early years of the latter race’s explorations of the Delta Sector, but upon gaining Leghkian technology, the Spemin abandoned the Tandelou and stole the Most Valuable Thing (the Tandelou’s most precious relic, though it’s only a hunk of green glass) for good measure. The Tandelou sects came to the understandable, reasonable conclusion that each other were to blame for this because of improperly performed ceremonies, leading to a brief civil war. Several centuries earlier, the Tandelou befriended the Lowar (Noah Six Elowan), though it is unclear to what extent the Elowan valued this special bond. The Tandelou declared them their “sun brothers” and were impressed at their ability to properly perform the Thdok-Bryg-Ahhh. Whatever their true feelings, the Lowar at least felt enough compassion for the Tandelou to assign the Gorzek satellite to them. In a bit of subtle deceitfulness, the Lowar told the Tandelou that Gorzek was to serve as their advisor, though in reality they programmed him to prevent them from mutually annihilating each other, a task he dutifully performed for 700 years. It is unclear, however, whether the modern Elowan will again fill any meaningful role in Tandelouvian affairs; aside from the fact that they both are plant races, they have fundamentally different philosophies.

Ally:
- Initial: None
- Final: None
Enemy:
- Initial: G'Nunk, Ancients
- Final: G'Nunk

Economy[]

Economic Status Levels:
- Eshvara: Inflated
- Eshvey: Inflated
Specialty Trade Goods Purchased:
- Flanzog Pillows (Eshvey; δ29x74, p4)
- Godmasks (Eshvey*; δ29x74, p1)
- Godmasks (Eshvara*; δ35x69, p2)
Specialty Trade Goods Sold:
- Assorted Eyeball Tasties (Eshvey; δ29x74, p1)
- Holovids (Eshvey; δ29x74, p1)
- Parasitic Pets (Eshvara; δ35x69, p2)
- Tandelovian Happy Juice (Eshvara; δ35x69, p2)

Supplemental Information[]

Having an extremely religious culture based on ceremony, the Tandelou view every event and circumstance through the lens of the Thdok-Bryg-Ahhh. Unknowingly or not, they tend to be exceedingly arrogant, viewing themselves and their proper performance of ceremonies to be the cause of all good in the universe. Conversely, each sect unapologetically blames the other for all the universe’s evils. Furthermore, their determination to interpret everything through their religion leads them to credit the most mundane of activities with monumental significance: A conversation running too long may dangerously unbalance cosmic forces, or an improperly performed ceremony can cause a species to fall into a misguided state. These sorts of obvious exaggerations tend to annoy rather than impress other species. Whether it is because they believe they are divinely protected or due to a deep-rooted sense of stubbornness, Tandelou will not grovel or beg for mercy, even in the face of imminent death. What fear they feel is, again, couched in terms of Thdok-Bryg-Ahhh; for example, rather than admit they feared the Umanu during the Uhl’s reign, they simply stated that it was inauspicious to travel within the Cloud Nebula (notably, they no longer feel this way, now that the danger has passed). Also, while the Tandelou will respond to a friendly posture, they respond better to the obsequious, believing, no doubt, that it is proper to pay reverence to the Seekers of the One Truth.

While the Tandelou are slightly interested in trade, their primary motivation is continuing to perfect their performance of the Thdok-Bryg-Ahhh ceremonies, thereby preserving the very fabric of the universe. To that end, they seek to suppress the activities of the opposing sect while expanding their sect’s influence, and also attempt to recruit from alien races new followers for their religion (incidentally, one member of the famed Buttershark crew opted to join the Tandelou after his assignment ended).

Importance[]

The Most Valuable Thing is in fact an Arming Key for a Leghkian Sun Bomb, one of the mission-critical artifacts. It will be necessary for the player to retreive an Arming Key for that part of their quest; two such devices exist in the game. The player will be given the choice of finding the other arming key (an arduous process involving communications with both the Kher and the Arla), or just swiping the Most Valuable Thing (this would either lead to a renewed Tandelou civil war in which both sects would wipe each other out within a few months, and/or a banishment/war against the player from Tandelou territory). The Tandelou also sell and purchase several high-value goods, making them important trading partners and a source of potential revenue.

Communication Text[]

These are the messages from SF2. The Tandelou are a unique case in that they incorporate sect names, something which will need to be figured into the finished comms engine.

Neutral Hails:

AH YES. WELL. NEW DISCIPLES, HMMM. GREETINGS AND BLESSINGS OF THE TANDELOU (SECT NAME). I AM COMMANDER (NAME) OF THIS MOST HALLOWED VESSEL. YOU HAVE HEARD OF OUR TEACHINGS, AND YOU HAVE COME TO LEARN FROM US. LET US NOW BEGIN.
AH YES. MYSTERIOUS SIGNS AND AMBIGUOUS PORTENTS HAVE FORETOLD OF YOUR ARRIVAL. NOTHING YOU CAN DO OR SAY CAN SURPRISE US, FOR WE ARE THE TANDELOU (SECT NAME), AND OUR WISDOM IS THE WISDOM OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH.
AH WELL. I, COMMANDER (NAME), OFFER GREETINGS IN THE MANNER OF THE SACROSANCT CELESTIAL CEREMONY, THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN COME TO HEAR OUR WISDOM. DO NOT BE ASHAMED OF YOUR IGNORANCE-AFTER ALL, ARE WE NOT THE TANDELOU (SECT NAME)?

Neutral Hail Responses:

YES. YES. OF COURSE WE KNOW WHY YOU HAVE COME HERE. AS STUDENTS OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, WE ARE CAPABLE OF SEEING ONLY THE TRUTH. YOU HAVE COME TO PRAISE US, BUT WE DO NOT SEEK YOUR TRIBUTE. WE SEEK ONLY TO SHARE OUR WISDOM. WE ARE THE (SECT NAME).
SALUTATIONS. I AM (NAME) OF THE TANDELOU (SECT NAME). YOU HAVE ARRIVED AT A MOST AUSPICIOUS TIME. JUST MOMENTS AGO, THE VARIOUS CELESTIAL BODIES ALIGNED THEMSELVES IN A MOST APPROPRIATE CONFIGURATION FOR A CEREMONY OF COMMUNICATION. THIS CANNOT BE COINCIDENCE. THIS IS CLEARLY THE PROVIDENCE OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH.

Friendly Hails:

AH. WONDERFUL SERENDIPITY. FORTUITOUS HAPPENSTANCE. WE ONCE AGAIN ENCOUNTER THE SPACE VESSEL (PLAYER SHIP NAME). THANKS TO YOU, ESHVEY AND ESHVARA NO LONGER BATTLE. GREETINGS AND WELCOME.
HAIL COMMANDER (PLAYER NAME), BRINGER OF THE MOST VALUABLE THING, AND SAVIOR OF THE TANDELOU. I, (NAME), HAVE UNDOUBTEDLY SUMMONED YOU HERE WITH THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, THOUGH IT HAS NOT BECOME CLEAR TO ME AS YET WHY I HAVE DONE THIS. PERHAPS IF WE COMMUNICATE, ALL WILL BE REVEALED.

Friendly Hail Responses:

THIS IS (NAME), OF THE (SECT NAME) SHIP (SHIP NAME). I NOW RESPOND TO YOUR HAIL. AH WELL. YES. OF COURSE WE RECOGNIZED YOUR MOST FAMOUS SHIP, COMMANDER (PLAYER NAME). AMONG THE TANDELOU, YOU ARE QUITE A CELEBRITY. PERHAPS YOU HAVE COME TO LEARN MORE OF THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH.
AH YES. THE NUMBER ONE DISCIPLE OF THE (SECT NAME). I AM (NAME), 7TH LEVEL MASTER PRACTITIONER AND 12TH LEVEL DIVINE INSEMINATOR OF THE SECOND, NINTH, AND FOURTEENTH PHASES OF THE (SECT NAME) SCHOOL OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. I BID YOU WELCOME, YES, WELL, HMMM.

Hostile Hails:

AH WELL, HMMM. ONCE AGAIN WE ENCOUNTER THE IMPERTINENT NEOPHYTES. YES. WELL. SOMETIMES IN THE TEACHINGS OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH DISCIPLINE IS REQUIRED. HMMM. OFTEN THOSE BEING DISCIPLINED ARE INADVERTENTLY DESTROYED. THIS IS UNFORTUNATE. PERHAPS YOU WISH TO RESPOND DISPLAYING APPROPRIATE REVERENCE.
WELL. HMMM. YOU HAVE COME BACK BECAUSE YOU ARE SORRY FOR YOUR DISRESPECTFUL ATTITUDE AND WISH TO NOW PAY HOMAGE AND LEARN THE WAY OF TRUTH. I SUGGEST YOU DEMONSTRATE YOUR SINCERITY IMMEDIATELY, TO ENSURE THAT YOUR INTENTIONS ARE NOT MISCONSTRUED.

Hostile Hail Responses:

SINCE YOU ASK, I AM KNOWN AS (NAME), AND THIS MOST SANCTIFIED OF VESSELS IS THE (SHIP NAME). WE RECOGNIZE THAT YOU HAVE TAKEN A HOSTILE STANCE TO TEST OUR FAITH IN THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, BUT YOU NEED NO LONGER PLAY THE ROLE OF THE VILE HERETICAL FOOL. LET ME JUST SAY WELL DONE. VERY WELL DONE.

Neutral/Friendly Farewell Statements:

IN THE GRAND COSMIC SCHEME OF THINGS, I SENSE THAT WE HAVE TALKED JUST THE CORRECT AMOUNT OF TIME. I MUST THEREFORE TERMINATE OUR DISCUSSION, BEFORE WE CREATE A DANGEROUS IMBALANCE OF COSMIC FORCES.
PERHAPS AT ANOTHER TIME YOU COULD RETURN FOR ANOTHER VALUABLE LESSON IN THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. YES. WELL. HMMM. JUST SO, JUST SO.

Hostile Farewell Statements:

I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR THOSE WHO CAN NOT INSTANTLY RECOGNIZE THE TRUTH, AS I CAN. YOU MAY GO.
PERHAPS SOMEDAY YOU WILL WISH TO LEARN THE REAL TRUTH. RETURN TO US THEN, AND WE WILL SPEAK MORE.

Don't Know:

YES, WELL, HMMM. IN A MOMENT OF DIVINE INSPIRATION, I NOW SEE THAT IT IS INAUSPICIOUS AND IN MANY RESPECTS UNFAVORABLE TO DISCUSS THIS MATTER. OF COURSE, THE KNOWLEDGE OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH IS UNLIMITED, BUT MORE ON THIS MATTER WILL BE REVEALED ONLY IN THE FULLNESS OF TIME.
AH YES, ANOTHER EXCELLENT QUESTION. WELL. I CAN SEE THAT ON THIS TOPIC, I MUST CONSULT THE VARIOUS PORTENTS AND DIVINATIONS FOR FULL ELABORATION. PERHAPS, MEANWHILE, YOU HAVE A QUESTION ON ANOTHER TOPIC.

Awaiting Response (Neutral):

AH YES, I SEE THAT YOU HAVE WAITED FOR THE MOST PROPITIOUS MOMENT TO ANSWER, WHICH IS CERTAINLY NOW.
AH YES, WELL. THE QUESTION WAS NOT RHETORICAL. DO NOT BE INTIMIDATED BY OUR GRAVE AND VENERABLE MANNER. YES, WE ARE WISE, BUT WE ARE ALSO BENEVOLENT.

Awaiting Response (Hostile):

WELL?
IF CONTINUED SURVIVAL IS A PRIORITY, I SUGGEST THAT IT IS A MOST INAUSPICIOUS TIME FOR YOU TO MAINTAIN SILENCE.
TAKE YOUR TIME IN ANSWERING, I HAVE SHIP'S BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO. 'NAVIGATOR, TARGET ALL LASER BANKS!' PLEASE DON'T RUSH YOURSELF--I HAVE PLENTY TO KEEP ME BUSY HERE.
WE ARE, IN FACT, STILL HERE.

Awaiting Response (Friendly):

ESTEEMED ACOLYTE AND HONORED SYCOPHANT, WE AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE.
PLEASE ANSWER AT YOUR CONVENIENCE.

Questions:

IS IT IN FACT THE CASE THAT YOU HAVE COME HERE TO LEARN OF THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH?
IF YOU DO NOT MIND MY ASKING, HAVE YOU IN THE PAST SOLD GOD-MASKS?
HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED ANY SHIPS OF THE (SECT NAME)?
ARE YOU A BELIEVER IN SIMULTANEOUS SERENDIPITOUS STUPEFACTION?
HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED ANY SHIPS OF THE (OTHER SECT NAME)?
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THE (OTHER SECT NAME) ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF THE EVI S IN THE UNIVERSE?
AH WELL. IT REALLY MAKES NO DIFFERENCE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, BUT WE WERE JUST WONDERING IF YOU WERE FRIENDS WITH THE OTHER TANDELOU, THE (OTHER SECT NAME).
WE CAN TELL THAT YOU HAVE POSSESSION OF THE MOST VALUABLE THING. YOU MUST RETURN IT IMMEDIATELY, OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES. (ANSWERING NO WILL END COMMUNICATIONS, AND MAY RESULT IN AN ATTACK).

Friendly Statements:

AH, JOYOUS VINDICATION! IF THERE WAS ANY DOUBT, NOW THERE CAN BE NONE. THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH IS THE WAY OF TRUTH. WE (SECT NAME) HAVE FLAWLESSLY PERFORMED THE CEREMONIES, AND THEREBY CAUSED THE RETURN OF THE MOST VALUABLE THING. WHAT GREATER PROOF COULD THERE BE?
WE OWE YOU THANKS FOR BEING THE UNWITTING VEHICLE OF OUR COSMIC CEREMONIAL MANIPULATIONS. OF COURSE, YOU HAVE RECEIVED THE GREATER HONOR, AND ARE GRATEFUL FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF BEING THE TOOL OF THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. WELL. HMMM. YES. WE EXPECT NO THANKS, HOWEVER. SUCH IS THE NOBILITY OF THE (SECT NAME).
FINALLY, THE FIGHTING BETWEEN ESHVEY AND ESHVARA HAS CEASED. OF COURSE, THE (OTHER SECT NAME) ARE STILL MISGUIDED PURVEYORS OF A FALSE TRUTH RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF THE EVILS IN THE UNIVERSE, BUT WE HAVE DECIDED TO NOT HOLD THIS AGAINST THEM.

Neutral Statements:

OUR EXTENSIVE DIVINATIONS AND MASTERFULLY SUBTLE AUGURIES HAVE FORETOLD OF YOUR APPEARANCE HERE, COMMANDER (PLAYER NAME). OH, DO NOT BE SURPRISED. THE EYE STALKS OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH SEE ALL. WE ARE ALSO AWARE THAT YOUR WRONG AND TWISTED THINKING IS PROBABLY A RESULT OF THE MISGUIDED CEREMONIES OF THE (OTHER SECT NAME).
PERHAPS I SHALL NOW TELL YOU OF THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH.
SUCH IS THE STRENGTH OF OUR FAITH IN THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, THAT WE DO NOT REQUIRE OF IT THAT IT MAKE SENSE. IN FACT, WE PREFER THAT IT DOES NOT.
TAKE OUR ADVICE. SHUN AND DESPISE THE (OTHER SECT NAME). THEY TWIST THE TRUTH WITH MALEVOLENT PERVERSION, AND WILL ATTEMPT TO SELL YOU THEIR FALSE RELIGION.
THE AUDACITY AND ARROGANCE OF THE TANDELOU (OTHER SECT NAME) IS BEYOND BELIEF. THEY MAINTAIN THAT THEY ARE THE CAUSE OF ALL GOOD IN THE UNIVERSE, AND THAT EVERY LITTLE THING THEY DO IS OF VAST COSMIC SIGNIFICANCE. HOW CAN THEY BE SO SMALL MINDED? CLEARLY IT IS WE WHO ARE THE CAUSE OF ALL GOOD.
JUST LAST WEEK, AT THE FIFTH AUGURY OF A MOST POTENT DIVINATION, I NEGLECTED TO FULLY ACHIEVE A COMPLETE COUNTER-ROTATION WITH MY MEDIATE STAMEN. THIS SLIGHT TRANSGRESSION, WHEN MAGNIFIED THROUGH THE POWER OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, IS NO DOUBT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CURRENT MISGUIDED STATE.
PERHAPS IT IS THE CASE THAT DIVINE PROVIDENCE WILL SEE FIT, IN THE FULLNESS OF TIME, TO RETURN TO US THE MOST VALUABLE THING. OF COURSE, UNDER SUCH CIRCUMSTANCES, IT WOULD NO LONGER BE NECESSARY TO VENT OUR RIGHTEOUS WRATH ON THE HEINOUS (OTHER SECT NAME). YES. WELL. HMMM.
PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENDED, BUT I MUST OBSERVE THAT IT IS CLEAR YOU ARE OF A TOTALLY IGNORANT SPECIES. AS YOU COMMUNICATE, YOUR LIMBS, BODY POSTURE, AND EXPRESSIONS SEEM HARDLY CEREMONIAL AT ALL. THE WORD PITIFUL COMES TO MIND AS NOT TOTALLY IRRELEVANT.
AH. WELL. HMMM. LAMENTATION OF LAMENTATIONS. IF ONLY THE MOST VALUABLE THING WERE ONCE AGAIN AT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. IT IS THE FONDEST DREAM OF EVERY (SECT NAME). THEN WE COULD ONCE AGAIN PERFORM THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH WITH A SPARKLE ON OUR ANTERIOR SURFACES.

Hostile Statements:

AH WELL, PLEASE DO NOT BE ALARMED, BUT IN ORDER TO ENSURE THE PROPER COSMIC BALANCE OF THE VARIOUS CELESTIAL HARMONIES, NOT TO MENTION THE COUNTLESS EMANATIONS OF OPPOSING PSYCHIC ENERGIES, IT LOOKS AS IF IT MAY BE NECESSARY TO TERMINATE THE EXISTENCE OF YOUR VESSEL.
AS I NOW FLAWLESSLY PERFORM THE CEREMONIES OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, IT IS REVEALED TO ME THAT YOUR IGNORANCE IS BEYOND REDEMPTION, AND IT IS ONLY THROUGH PROGRESSING TO THE NEXT LIFE, IF THERE IS ONE, THAT YOU CAN KNOW THE TRUTH AND BEAUTY OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. ALLOW ME TO AID YOU IN THIS.
AH. AS WE SPEAK, A HOLY VISION APPEARS BEFORE ME. I SEE THE DESTRUCTION OF A SPACE SHIP. WAIT! THE NAME COMES TO ME. IT IS...THE... (PLAYER'S SHIP NAME). SUCH A PITY, BUT OF COURSE, NONE CAN ESCAPE THE FATE OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH.

Themselves:

YES, WELL, AH. A MOST AUSPICIOUS BEGINNING TO YOUR INITIATION AS A DISCIPLE, YES. NOW YOU BEGIN TO LEARN THE WAY OF THE (SECT NAME), THE WAY OF TRUTH, CERTAINLY, YES. THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH.
HEED WELL, YOUNG ACOLYTE, YES. BEWARE THE HEINOUS LIES OF THE MALEVOLENT (OTHER SECT NAME). THEY ARE INSIDIOUS IMPOSTORS WHO HAVE CORRUPTED THE TRUE FAITH, YES, AND UTILIZE CEREMONIES BORN OF SUPERSTITIOUS IGNORANCE. THE ESHVARA SYSTEM IS LOCATED AT 35 X 69, WHILE THE ESHVEY SYSTEM IS AT 29 X 74. DO NOT CONFUSE THE TWO. THE (OTHER SECT NAME) CANNOT BE TRUSTED.
THE WAY OF THE UNIVERSE IS THE WAY OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. THE WAY OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH IS THE WAY OF CEREMONY, YES. ALL THINGS WE ^ DO ARE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. EVERY LOOK, EVERY MOVEMENT, EVERY WORD. JUST SO. JUST SO. HMMM.
EVERY (SECT NAME) MUST PERFORM THDOK-BRYG-AHHH AT ALL TIMES IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE 207 DIVINE INSPIRATIONS, IN ORDER TO ENSURE AUSPICIOUS UNIVERSAL HARMONY, YES. ONE MISTAKE WOULD INSTANTLY BRING UPON US THE GREAT UNIVERSAL FIERY CATACLYSMIC APOCALYPSE.
EVERY (SECT NAME) LIVES IN FEAR, YES, HMMM. ONE INCORRECT MOTION, FOR EXAMPLE, OF THE 9TH TENTACLE IN THE 3RD PHASE OF A 12TH LEVEL INTRODUCTION COULD CAUSE THE IMMEDIATE DEATH OF MILLIONS OF INNOCENT BEINGS ON A DISTANT PLANET. AH WELL. YES. THIS IS THE BURDEN OF THE THDOK-BYRG-AHHH.
OF COURSE THE HEINOUS OTHERS, THE EVIL (OTHER SECT NAME) CONTINUALLY PERFORM CEREMONIES IN INAUSPICIOUS MANNERS. YES, WELL. THIS EXPLAINS WHY THERE IS PAIN, SUFFERING, AND GENERAL AMBIENT INSTABILITY IN THE COSMOS. THEREFORE, CERTAINLY, WE (SECT NAME) MUST BE EVER VIGILANT IN OUR CEREMONIES TO FORESTALL IMMINENT COSMIC COLLAPSE.
WELL, HMMM, YES, OUR BELIEF IN CEREMONY IS FOUNDED ON SCIENCE, FOR WE, UNLIKE THE IGNORANT (OTHER SECT NAME), ARE CREATURES OF LOGIC AND REASON. FORTUNATELY FOR US, OUR SCIENCE HAPPENS TO BE FOUNDED ON OUR BELIEF IN CEREMONY.
THE WAR WHICH WE NOW FIGHT WITH THE (OTHER SECT NAME) WAS, OF COURSE, STARTED BY THEM, YES. THEIR PERVERSELY INSANE CEREMONIES HAVE RESULTED IN THE DISAPPEARANCE OF THE MOST VALUABLE THING FROM THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE.
AH, TO PERFORM THDOK-BRYG-AHHH WHILE GAZING UPON THE MOST VALUABLE THING AT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, HIGH ATOP THE GREAT MYSTICAL PEAK OF SIGNIFICANCE ON THE ISLE OF FORTUITOUS HAPPENSTANCE. AHHH, THE SHINING GREEN COLOR OF PERFECTION. SUCH DIVINE BLISS. IS IT NO WONDER THAT WE MUST NOW FIGHT THE HEINOUS (OTHER SECT NAME)? DESTROYERS OF BLISS ?.
SIGNS AND PORTENTS HAVE REVEALED TO US THAT, IF WE PERFORM ADDITIONAL CEREMONIES ON THE 37 AUSPICIOUS TIMES OF HARMONIOUS COSMIC ALIGNMENT, THE MOST VALUABLE THING WILL CERTAINLY REAPPEAR AND WE CAN END OUR WAR WITH THE ABOMINABLE (OTHER SECT NAME).

Other Beings (Eshvara):

WITHIN THE CLOUD DWELL UMANU, YES. WE TANDELOU ARE NOT INTIMIDATED BY THEM, HOSTILE AS THEY MAY BE, BECAUSE WE ARE PROTECTED BY THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. IT SIMPLY HAPPENS THAT IT IS INAUSPICIOUS TO TRAVEL WITHIN THE CLOUD, WHICH IS THEIR DOMAIN. MOST FORTUNATE. AHHH.
AH WELL. YES. HMMM. YOUR QUESTION OF OTHER RACES BRINGS TO MIND PICTURES OF OUR NEW LARVAL BROTHERS, THE SPEMIN, YES, HMMM. WE WERE MOST SURPRISED WHEN THEY CAME TO US ONLY 5 OF YOUR YEARS AGO.
THE SPEMIN'S PHYSICAL RESEMBLANCE TO OUR TERTIARY LARVAL STAGE WAS MOST STRIKING, YES. IT WAS CLEAR TO US, CERTAINLY, YES, THAT THE LOVEABLE LITTLE SPEMIN HAD BEEN SENT TO US BY THE DIVINE COSMIC POWERS, AHHH.
AT FIRST, OUR LITTLE LARVAL BROTHERS SEEMED SOMEWHAT RESISTANT TO THE WAYS OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, YES. WE FOUND THEIR BLUSTERING WAYS MOST ENDEARING, BUT FOUND IT NECESSARY TO DISCIPLINE THEM BY VAPORIZING SEVERAL OF THEIR SPACE VESSELS. THEY THEN BECAME MORE RECEPTIVE TO THE TRUTH OF OUR RELIGION.
THE SPEMIN WERE WELCOMED INTO OUR CULTURE AS FERVENT DISCIPLES, YES. THEY SEEMED QUITE ANXIOUS TO WORSHIP THE MOST VALUABLE THING, AND ASKED OFTEN IF THEY COULD BORROW IT TO WORSHIP IT. OF COURSE, IT WAS NECESSARY TO DENY THIS, BUT WE WERE PLEASED WITH THEIR PIETY.
THEN, AHHH, HMMM, WELL. THREE YEARS PAST, OUR LARVAL BROTHERS ACQUIRED A NEW TECHNOLOGY, WHICH MADE THEM QUITE POWERFUL. GORZEK CALLS THIS TECHNOLOGY LEGHKIAN. MOST DISTRESSING. OUR LITTLE LARVAL BROTHERS HAVE BEEN QUITE NAUGHTY WITH THIS TECHNOLOGY, YES.
IT WAS SHORTLY AFTER THE SPEMIN ACQUIRED THIS NEW TECHNOLOGY THAT THEY SIMPLY LEFT US. IT WAS AT THE SAME TIME THAT THE MOST VALUABLE THING ALSO DISAPPEARED FROM THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, YES, WELL. THE CONCLUSION IS OBVIOUS TO ANY THINKING CREATURE.
CLEARLY THE ESHVEY MUST HAVE ERRED IN THEIR CEREMONIES OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, THEREBY CAUSING THE DISAPPEARANCE OF THE MOST VALUABLE THING AND THE ALIENATION OF OUR DEVOTED SPEMIN DISCIPLES. THIS IS WHY WE ARE NOW AT WAR WITH THEM, YES.
AS FOR OTHER ALIENS, WELL, HMMM. A RACE KNOWN AS THE DWEENLE LIVE UPSPIN FROM THIS REGION. AH, WELL, A MOST INCONSEQUENTIAL RACE. THEY ARE MAKERS OF GOD-MASKS HOWEVER, A MOST DESIRED ITEM, CERTAINLY.

Other Beings (Eshvey):

WITHIN THE CLOUD DWELL UMANU, YES. WE TANDELOU ARE NOT INTIMIDATED BY THEM, HOSTILE AS THEY MAY BE, BECAUSE WE ARE PROTECTED BY THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. IT SIMPLY HAPPENS THAT IT IS INAUSPICIOUS TO TRAVEL WITHIN THE CLOUD, WHICH IS THEIR DOMAIN. MOST FORTUNATE. AHHH.
THE HUMNA HUMNA ARE ANOTHER RACE WHO SEEK TO BE DISCIPLES OF THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. UNDER THE AUSPICES OF TRADE THEY COME TO US, HOPING TO LEARN FROM US THE TRUE WAY, YES. WE RECOMMEND NOT ANTAGONIZING THEM, YES.
BEWARE THE G'NUNK, OUR COREWARD NEIGHBORS, WHO KNOW NOTHING OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. THEIR HOME PLANET, AT 159, 30, IS AN UNINVITING PLACE, WELL, YES. THEY CLASS US AS G'NOON IN THEIR PECULIAR HIERARCHY, AND ARE LESS THAN RESPECTFUL. MOST DISTURBING, YES.
AH WELL. YES. HMMM. YOUR QUESTION OF OTHER RACES BRINGS TO MIND PICTURES OF OUR NEW LARVAL BROTHERS, THE SPEMIN, YES, HMMM. WE WERE MOST SURPRISED WHEN THEY CAME TO US ONLY 5 OF YOUR YEARS AGO.
THE SPEMIN'S PHYSICAL RESEMBLANCE TO OUR TERTIARY LARVAL STAGE WAS MOST STRIKING, YES. IT WAS CLEAR TO US, CERTAINLY, YES, THAT THE LOVEABLE LITTLE SPEMIN HAD BEEN SENT TO US BY THE DIVINE COSMIC POWERS, AHHH.
AT FIRST, OUR LITTLE LARVAL BROTHERS SEEMED SOMEWHAT RESISTANT TO THE WAYS OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, YES. WE FOUND THEIR BLUSTERING WAYS MOST ENDEARING, BUT FOUND IT NECESSARY TO DISCIPLINE THEM BY VAPORIZING SEVERAL OF THEIR SPACE VESSELS. THEY THEN BECAME MORE RECEPTIVE TO THE TRUTH OF OUR RELIGION.
THE SPEMIN WERE WELCOMED INTO OUR CULTURE AS FERVENT DISCIPLES, YES. THEY SEEMED QUITE ANXIOUS TO WORSHIP THE MOST VALUABLE THING, AND ASKED OFTEN IF THEY COULD BORROW IT TO WORSHIP IT. OF COURSE, IT WAS NECESSARY TO DENY THIS, BUT WE WERE PLEASED WITH THEIR PIETY.
THEN, AHHH, HMMM, WELL. THREE YEARS PAST, OUR LARVAL BROTHERS ACQUIRED A NEW TECHNOLOGY, WHICH MADE THEM QUITE POWERFUL. GORZEK CALLS THIS TECHNOLOGY LEGHKIAN. MOST DISTRESSING. OUR LITTLE LARVAL BROTHERS HAVE BEEN QUITE NAUGHTY WITH THIS TECHNOLOGY, YES.
IT WAS SHORTLY AFTER THE SPEMIN ACQUIRED THIS NEW TECHNOLOGY THAT THEY SIMPLY LEFT US. IT WAS AT THE SAME TIME THAT THE MOST VALUABLE THING ALSO DISAPPEARED FROM THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, YES, WELL. THE CONCLUSION IS OBVIOUS TO ANY THINKING CREATURE.
CLEARLY THE ESHVARA MUST HAVE ERRED IN THEIR CEREMONIES OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, THEREBY CAUSING THE DISAPPEARANCE OF THE MOST VALUABLE THING AND THE ALIENATION OF OUR DEVOTED SPEMIN DISCIPLES. THIS IS WHY WE ARE NOW AT WAR WITH THEM, YES.
AS FOR OTHER ALIENS, WELL, HMMM. A RACE KNOWN AS THE DWEENLE LIVE UPSPIN FROM THIS REGION. AH, WELL, A MOST INCONSEQUENTIAL RACE. THEY ARE MAKERS OF GOD-MASKS HOWEVER, A MOST DESIRED ITEM, CERTAINLY.

The Past:

EXACTLY 16,407 FLOWERINGS AGO, OR 800 OF YOUR YEARS, OUR SUN BROTHERS, THE LOWAR, CAME TO THIS MOST HOLY REGION OF SPACE, IN ORDER TO LEARN FROM US THE WAY OF THE DIVINE CEREMONY, YES.
AH YES, HMMM. SADNESS. WE MOURN THE LOSS OF OUR SUN BROTHERS, YES. WITH THEIR MANY VINES THEY WERE OUR ONLY DISCIPLES WHO COULD PROPERLY PERFORM THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, YES.
THE TERRIBLE UMANU, WHO FIRST TRAVELLED HERE WITH THE LOWAR AS FRIENDS AND LATER TURNED ON THEM AND DESTROYED THEM, WERE NO DOUBT INFLUENCED BY THE IMPROPER RITUALS OF THE (OTHER SECT NAME), YES. IS THIS NOT DEFINITE PROOF OF THE (OTHER SECT NAME)'S EVIL WAYS?
IN THEIR UNDYING ADMIRATION OF US, THEIR TEACHERS OF THE ONE TRUTH, THE LOWAR PRESENTED US (SECT NAME) WITH GORZEK-METAL-FATHER, BEFORE THEIR FINAL DESTRUCTION, YES.
AH WELL, HMMM. GORZEK IS WISE IN THE WAYS OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, AND CONTAINS THE WISDOM OF THE LOWAR. HE IS ADVISOR TO ALL TANDELOU BUT, OF COURSE, HIS TRUE ALLEGIANCE IS TO US, THE (SECT NAME).
GORZEK CIRCLES CONTINUOUSLY THE GAS PLANET OF SYSTEM 28 X 79. WE (SECT NAME) HAVE GIVEN HIM A PRIME DIRECTIVE, CLASS 1 PRIORITY OVERRIDE. HE IS TO CONCERN HIMSELF WITH NOTHING OTHER THAN THE DESTRUCTION OF THE (OTHER SECT NAME), THEY WHO HAVE DESTROYED THE MOST VALUABLE THING, YES.
WE TANDELOU KNOW LITTLE OF THE VERY DISTANT PAST, SINCE PROVIDENCE BROUGHT US TO THIS MOST HOLY OF SUB-SECTORS ONLY MERE MILLENIA AGO. WE DO KNOW, THOUGH, THROUGH OUR DIVINE MYSTICAL AUGURIES, AND ALSO BY BEING TOLD, THAT THERE ONCE LIVED HERE A WIDESPREAD ADVANCED CULTURE CALLED THE LEGHK, AND THAT THE LOWAR STUDIED THEM IN DETAIL.

Trade:

DURING THE TIME OF OUR SUN-BROTHERS, THE LOWAR, SHYNEUM WAS ABUNDANT AND THERE WAS MUCH TRADE, YES. SINCE THEN, IT HAS BECOME MORE AND MORE SCARCE, AND THE HUMNA HUMNA MERCHANT SHIPS DO NOT COME AS OFTEN AS THEY ONCE DID. OF COURSE, ALL OF THIS IS THE FAULT OF THE (OTHER SECT NAME), YES.
WELL, HMMM. AS DEVOUT STUDENTS OF THE TANDELOU, YOU MAY KNOW THAT WE MAKE TANDELOUVIAN HAPPY JUICE, THOUGH IT IS ONLY ESHVARA WHO SELL IT IN TRADE, YES, TO THE PLAYFUL TEEELVEEE, WHO RESIDE IN A SYSTEM AT THE DOWNSPIN EDGE OF THE CLOUD.
YES. AND CERTAINLY YOU KNOW THAT OFTENTIMES IT IS NECESSARY TO WIN THE FRIENDSHIP OF A RACE BY BRINGING A VALUED ITEM IN TRADE BEFORE THEY WILL PART WITH AN ITEM. YES, MOST AUSPICIOUS. WELL. HMMM. IN THE CULTURAL DESCRIPTIONS FROM THE HUMNA HUMNA TRADE BUOYS, THESE DESIRED ITEMS ARE MARKED WITH AN AUSPICIOUS SYMBOL. I MIGHT MENTION WE TANDELOU VALUE THE MYSTIC GOD-MASKS OF THE LOATHSOME DWEENLE.
AH WELL, HMMM. CERTAINLY A MOST USEFUL DEVICE IS THE SYSTEM SCANNER POSSESSED BY THE TRADE CENTERS OF THE ESHVEY HOME PLANET. WITH THIS DEVICE, ONE CAN SCAN ALL THE PLANETS IN A SYSTEM WITHOUT ORBITING THEM, AND SEE ENCOUNTERS IN ONE'S SYSTEM DISPLAY. AH YES, MOST USEFUL.
A RACE WE SOMETIMES TRADE WITH IS CALLED THE LIEU VADISH. UNLIKE WE (SECT NAME), THE LIEU VADISH ARE AN ARROGANT AND VAIN RACE, YES. OCCASIONALLY WE WILL PURCHASE FROM THEM DELIGHTFUL FUNGUS CHEWS TO SELL TO THE HUMNA HUMNA. DISGUSTING MORSELS INDEED, YES.
AS IT IS OUR FATE TO BE THE SPIRITUAL TEACHERS OF THE GALAXY, SO IT IS THE HUMNA HUMNA'S FATE TO BE THE LOWLY MERCHANT TRADERS. THESE HUMNA HUMNA VALUE NOTHING MORE THAN THEIR PRECIOUS TRADE ROUTE MAPS, BUT THEY HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO SELL THEM TO FRIENDS OF THEIRS.

General Info:

THE FIRST LESSON OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH IS THE LAW OF UNIVERSAL HARMONIOUS DISCORD. AS IS OBVIOUS, ALL ELEMENTS OF THE UNIVERSE VIBRATE IN A VAST AMBIENT DISCORDANCE. THOSE ACTIONS MOST INTRINSICALLY SIGNIFICANT ARE THOSE WHICH ACHIEVE A DISCORDANCE IN HARMONY WITH THE UNIVERSAL DISCORDANCE.
THE SECOND LESSON OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH IS THE LAW OF SANCTITY OF THE 207 DIVINE INSPIRATIONS. THIS LAW, INDISPUTABLE AS IT IS, IS BASED ON THE FIRST INSPIRATION, WHICH CLEARLY STATES- ALL OF THE OTHER INSPIRATIONS ARE DIVINELY INSPIRED, AND THIS ONE IS TOO.
SINCE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH IS TRUTH, AND TRUTH IS THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, IT THEREFORE CONTAINS ALL ANSWERS TO ALL QUESTIONS. IT IS SIMPLY THE CASE THAT MANY OF THE ANSWERS ARE REVEALED ONLY IN THE FULLNESS OF TIME. THE FULLNESS OF TIME IS AN IMPORTANT CONCEPT OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH.
THE THIRD LESSON OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH IS THE LAW OF SIMULTANEOUS SERENDIPITOUS STUPEFACTION. THIS LAW IS, WITHOUT QUESTION, THE MOST SIGNIFICANT LAW OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, AND COMPRISES THE CORE OF OUR BELIEF. UNFORTUNATELY, THE PRECISE NATURE OF THIS LAW HAS YET TO BE REVEALED, BUT WE HAVE CONFIDENCE THAT IT WILL BE IN THE FULLNESS OF TIME.
THE GREAT EYE OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH WATCHES OVER ALL OF US. IT IS LOCATED AT THE COORDINATES OF 244 X 149. SOMETIMES WE TANDELOU BECOME SO OVERWHELMED BY THE BEAUTY OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH THAT WE THROW OURSELVES INTO THE EYE, IN ORDER TO BECOME ONE WITH IT.
IN ORDER TO DEMONSTRATE OUR VAST KNOWLEDGE, DIVINELY INSPIRED, OF COURSE, OF CONSEQUENTIAL MATTERS, I COULD MENTION THAT WE KNOW OF A LIQUID PLANET SOMEWHERE JUST DOWNSPIN OF DWEENLE TERRITORY, WHICH IS INHABITED BY A BEASTLY RACE CALLED THE CHICHIFA. ON THIS PLANET, AT 58S X 76E, IS A MAGICAL SLUG WHICH IMPARTS TO ITS KEEPER A MOST PLEASANT SMELLING GAS. IT IS HOWEVER NOT WITHOUT CERTAIN SIDE EFFECTS.

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